This afternoon Wife starts individual counseling. It wasn't a demand, but rather I asked her to.
The situation is that all of our discussions about the marriage and hurt and pain are negative to her. Well, maybe not all, but almost all of them. Among my needs are being able to share hurt and pain, and have that to not be a negative experience for her, and instead bring us closer.
I feel I do my part, avoid "I" statements, use a gentle start up, talk about the facts, no criticism.
I asked her to see someone who would help figure out a way to make these discussion constructive (because I can't move forward without them), and for her to learn how to develop some empathy.
She said she would do that, and today is her first appointment. She saw an IC before for a few sessions, and didn't share any details about it. I expect this to be the same. I'm interested in knowing the details, but I don't need to know and have complete respect for her privacy.
Maybe through IC she'll discover she no longer wants to be married. I don't want that, but I'm feeling OK with it. At least it is progress in some direction.