6/4/2021
We have peace but we're not getting closer. I'm giving it time, I'm not sharing hurt or pain, but it is finding its way out through me being somewhat passive-aggressive.
The past week she has told me that she wants me to be more present and participating in planning the future, moving to a different city, looking ahead the next steps. I told her that I'm still healing, and that it is difficult for me to fully engage while I have this hurt. That stops the discussion.
This is the same pattern. She asks for something, and I'm totally honest and say I need healing, then she goes silent and avoids me for a few days. Then, rinse/repeat. I would love if she would respond with "Honey, I'm so sorry, I want to help you through this hurt, I want to support you through the pain, tell me what I can do, how can I help us rebuild." But she's simply not ready to do that.
So we have peace but nothing is getting resolved. I hold out hope that she will come to the table ready to reconcile, and so I wait.
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